“From the Ancient Wisdoms to Quantum Physics,
It's All About the Energy!”
I Am the (fill-in the blank)©
Dennis L. Dossett
(All Rights Reserved)
A couple of weeks ago I had a very interesting conversation regarding last month’s blog, “The ‘Problem’ Is NOT the Problem.” For one reader at least, it seems that I successfully communicated the point that it is so easy for human beings to psychologically distort external molehills into mountains (“major problems”). And I also successfully conveyed the notion that we are in control of 90% of our life experience. But I apparently was only partially successful in expressing the idea of not blaming others for our perceived “problems.” That is just what people naturally do, something psychologists call the “actor/observer bias.” And I neglected to say that blaming anyone (including ourselves) serves little useful purpose.
Blaming others allows us to take the “sting” out of taking responsibility for what happened (we feel “better” or “superior” to the person whom we label as “the problem”) whether it is true or not. But blaming ourselves only makes us feel worse (guilty, shameful, liable, accountable, etc.), also whether it is true or not. I was trying to make a case for taking responsibility but managed to muddy the waters for some readers. Sorry about that.
As I stated in last month’s blog, “The ‘Problem’ Is NOT the Problem. It is your reaction to the problem—every time! Your experience of life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it. And since there are no ‘accidents’ in life, everything that happens to you is in your life for a purpose, to provide another set of opportunities to choose to respond in a manner that aligns with Higher Self ... or not. It is just a choice—your choice.”
So, what about your reaction, especially when it comes to blame and responsibility? These words are synonyms in most dictionaries, but there is a fine distinction between these concepts. I believe this fine difference has important implications for daily life.
For example, Wikipedia says that “Blame is the act of censuring, holding responsible, making negative statements about an individual or group that their action or actions are socially or morally irresponsible, the opposite of praise. When someone is morally responsible for doing something wrong, their action is blameworthy.” Blame is essentially the assignment of guilt for an action or circumstance, and it doesn’t always apply to others; the notion of self-blame is also discussed in that Wikipedia article.
The word, “responsibility,” on the other hand, has other meanings that are not only more germane to the intended point of last month’s blog, but are also devoid of the notions of guilt or censure. For example, responsibility can refer to duty, obligation, importance, power, and trust—among other things—that do not even suggest (let alone indicate) guilt or censure.
Moreover, I believe that responsibility is a critically important element of spiritual development. For example, Maitreya (channeled by Margaret McElroy) frequently wrote and spoke about becoming the Master of your life rather than being mastered by life. That means acknowledging and taking ownership of (responsibility for) your life. My three Dancing with the Energy books present Conscious Living as a method for consciously making decisions to become a better version of yourself (a.k.a. raise your vibration, soul evolution). It also takes you closer to achieving what you want out of life. Becoming a better version of yourself requires taking responsibility—rather than blaming others or yourself—in order to do that.
• “So, you profess to be spiritual. Are you the person who will not walk away from an argument because you must prove you are right? Do you make comment on others as to their way of life and their dress? Do you bemoan your lot and blame others for your problems? If you answered “yes” to any one of those questions, then you cannot profess to be spiritual. You see, a spiritual person has no judgment, does not blame others for their problems, has no hate in their heart, and does not have to justify themselves to anyone.” ~ Maitreya (Newsletter #246, October 2, 2009)
You can’t “blame” yourself and hope to “grow” into a better version of yourself by carrying the accompanying guilt and shame that go with the blame. The energies of growth and blame are completely incompatible. If you really want to grow in this life (a.k.a. raise your vibration), then there must be no blame and no shame. But “responsibility” and “growth” go hand-in-hand; you can’t have one without the other. They are symbionts; they feed on and reinforce each other.
Taking responsibility for your actions allows you to accept your flaws (you are only human after all—just like the rest of us) and to work on them. If you never take responsibility by blaming others, you rob yourself of the opportunity to improve; you never get to the point of becoming a better version of yourself. Taking responsibility is understanding that you are in charge of your life, no one else (Conscious Living). You are in charge, whether or not you consciously choose to become the Master of your life. Every event in your life is the result of your decisions, but those decisions are yours and yours alone.
Think of it this way: The energies of blame and shame are energies of the Lower Self; it feeds on them to keep you locked in its control through fear. But that is a choice. Or, you can choose the energies of responsibility and growth which are aligned with the Higher Self. That is also a choice (Conscious Living). Which would you rather have? Don't worry about how it is going to happen; that is Problem (Lower Self) oriented. Just focus on your desires and what you want to manifest; that is Solution oriented, the specialty of the Higher Self. Just do your part by clarifying what you want (your thoughts create your reality) and let the Universe take care of how to manifest it.
• “I have said over and over in my newsletters that YOU are the creator of your own reality. You cannot blame anyone for your circumstances because YOU create them. We give you every opportunity to change, but it is YOU with your fear who hold on to the comfort zone and the past, and in doing so, stop the future from happening. As such, you subsequently keep yourself from moving upward in your vibration. Until you are free of fear, you cannot leave the earth plane, and you will continually bring yourself back to face your fear.” ~ Maitreya (Newsletter #166, November 2, 2005)
Whether or not you realize it, every thought you have—every word you speak—is an affirmation, an expression of what you choose to attract into your life experience. We live in an expansion-based universe; what you put your attention on expands in your life. To say that “I have a problem” or “I am the problem” is dis-empowering; both of these affirmations focus on the negative—what you don’t want. Moreover, they implicitly aim for an indefinite and uncertain future state that may or may not eventually come to pass.
However, to say that “I AM the Solution” is not only true, it is implicitly empowering; it focuses on the positive—what you do want. An important factor in this phrase is that it acknowledges what already IS—NOW—as an accomplished fact in your life. This is a key element in manifesting anything in your life and one that is rarely taught or even acknowledged by most teachers of the art and science of manifesting (see Book 3 of Dancing with the Energy). And when you begin to see (i.e., believe) yourself to be responsible and reliable, your self-esteem and feelings of self-worth will increase along with your confidence and motivation.
• “The more you can put yourself in the positive energy of belief—the more positive is your belief—the better. You are the creator of your own reality, but you also battle the game of life itself and then punish yourself because you cannot do that. Do as much as you can, yet do not despair or punish yourself for your failure to continue with it or do that. The more you try, the better you will become, and one day you WILL be able to manifest completely without hesitation. The more you punish yourself for your failings, the more you become depressed and sad, the worse it will be for you. Very few souls can manifest immediately without difficulty; it is a slow transition, but made worse by your punishment of yourself. When you find yourself doing this, affirm to yourself, ‘I will not feel terrible because I was not able to do it.’ OR ‘I do not blame myself for my failure to manifest; I will not stop trying though.’ Punishment of yourself is not the answer, pride in yourself at trying to manifest is worthy. Let go of self-condemnation and you will find yourself manifesting more!” ~ Maitreya (”Keep the Faith”, September 12, 2014)
So Yes, “The ‘Problem’ Is NOT the Problem. It is your reaction to the problem—every time!” You can easily demonstrate your reaction by stating the following (preferably aloud—looking into a mirror): “I Am the (fill-in-the-blank)” The only question is what is your “blank,” what is your reaction? Do you feel uplifted about your answer or not? Are you going to play the “blame and shame game” and become the “Problem” or will you fill-in-the-blank by acknowledging and taking ownership of (responsibility for) your life and become the “Solution”?
As Maitreya says, “There are no ‘rights’ and there are no ‘wrongs,’ only decisions and learning opportunities.” So, there is no right or wrong choice of what to fill-in-the-blank, only your choice, and you are in complete control of that for every decision you make every moment of your life.
I just love being in good company. Have a great month!
Dennis